Funny out of office messages

An out of office message is a polite way of saying "not now" to everyone at once. It can also be a little funny. Here are 13 out of office messages, from short jokes and holiday replies to mock-official notices and clear versions for work. Swap in your own dates and contacts.

Short and funny

• "I am out of the office and, for once, out of my inbox too. Back on Monday." Honest, light, done.
• "Thank you for your email. It has been placed in a very long queue, behind my holiday." Gently sets expectations.
• "I am away until the 12th. Your email is important to me, and so is not reading it until then." Funny and clear.
• "This inbox is closed for maintenance. The maintenance is me, resting." A small joke, no excuses.

For a holiday

• "I am on holiday, which means I am pretending email has not been invented yet. Back on the 12th." Playful, with a date.
• "I have swapped my keyboard for a deckchair until Monday. For anything urgent, please contact the team." Friendly and useful.
• "I am away and have left my laptop at home on purpose. It is taking it well." Silly, and very clear.

Mock official

• "Your email has been received by the Department of Doubt. It will be reviewed on my return, on the 12th." The Department's favourite.
• "Notice: the person you are trying to reach is temporarily unavailable. Please hold until Monday." Sounds like a phone line. Works like one too.
• "Your message has been filed under "after my holiday". The filing system is very reliable." Polite, final, funny.

Clear and professional

• "I am out of the office until Monday the 12th with limited access to email. For urgent matters, please contact the team." The safe default.
• "Thank you for your message. I am away until the 12th and will reply when I am back." Short and polite.
• "I am currently away. If your request cannot wait, my colleague on the team can help." Points to help, not just away.

What every out of office message needs

1. That you are away. One line is enough.
2. When you are back. A real date, not "soon".
3. Who can help. A team or a colleague, so nobody is stuck waiting.

The joke is optional. The date is not. For clients, or anyone you have not met, the clear and professional versions are the safe choice.

More ways to say not now

For the end of your emails, see funny email sign-offs. If you are not away, just busy, there are funny ways to say I'm busy and tips on how to say no to extra work. All of them are on the funny ways to say no page. All guides are on the guides page, and today's ruling is on the home page.

Questions about out of office messages

What is a funny out of office message?

An auto-reply that says you are away with a small joke, like "I am out of the office and, for once, out of my inbox too." The joke goes in one line; the dates and who to contact still go in clearly.

Is a funny out of office message professional?

It can be, if the facts are all there: when you are back and who can help in the meantime. Keep the joke gentle, and use a plain version for clients or anyone you have never met.

What should an out of office message include?

Three things: that you are away, when you are back, and who to contact if it is urgent. Everything else, including the joke, is optional.

What is a good out of office message for a holiday?

Short and honest: "I am on holiday until Monday the 12th and not checking email. For anything urgent, please contact the team." Add one light line if it suits your workplace.

Part of How to say no.

The Department of Doubt is satire, but these messages are real suggestions you are free to use. See the satire notice.