The archive of rulings

Every claim the internet has filed, every stamp the Department has slammed. Newest first.

• I DON'T THINK SO“Turning yard driftwood into a mossy woodland spirit is this season's hobby.”No. 0009 · 27 Oct 2026
• FINE. I THINK SO.“A spider that looks exactly like a tiny old man has been named internet's best boy.”No. 0008 · 26 Oct 2026
• I DON'T THINK SO“Turning the clocks back gives everyone a free extra hour.”No. 0007 · 25 Oct 2026
• I DON'T THINK SO“Pumpkin spice season now starts in August, and that is fine.”No. 0006 · 24 Oct 2026
• I DON'T THINK SO“Having 47 browser tabs open is a productivity system.”No. 0005 · 23 Oct 2026
• I DON'T THINK SO“This new app will finally replace group chats.”No. 0004 · 22 Oct 2026
• FINE. I THINK SO.“Dogs in tiny raincoats are peak civilization.”No. 0003 · 21 Oct 2026
• I DON'T THINK SO“Everyone is quitting their job to raise alpacas.”No. 0002 · 20 Oct 2026
• I DON'T THINK SO“Reply-all is a love language.”No. 0001 · 19 Oct 2026