Funny ways to say you're welcome

Someone said thank you. Now it is your turn. Here are 15 funny ways to say you're welcome, for friends and texts, for work, a few mock-official ones from the Department of Doubt, and simple kind ones that always work.

For friends and texts

• "You are welcome. Please leave a five-star review." A small joke, then done.
• "Anytime. Well, most times. Not before nine." Honest about the hours.
• "No problem. I will send you the invoice. It is one cup of tea." The cheapest invoice there is.
• "You are welcome. I accept payment in snacks and compliments." Both are fine.

For work

• "Happy to help. I will add it to my list of good deeds, which is now two items long." Modest, and funny.
• "You are welcome. That is what the team chat is for. That, and lunch plans." Friendly, for the team.
• "Glad it helped. My work here is done. Until the next question." A small, cheerful exit.
• "No problem at all. Feel free to tell my future self how great this was." Keeps it light.

Mock official

• "The Department of Doubt has received your thanks and filed it under nice." Official, and kind.
• "Your thank you has been accepted. No further paperwork is required." The best kind of form.
• "Notice: one favour has been completed. Thank you received and stamped." Sounds like a receipt. Reads like a smile.

Simple and kind

• "You are welcome, happy to help." Always works.
• "Anytime." Short and warm.
• "My pleasure. Really." Sincere.
• "Of course. You would do the same for me." Kind, and true.

Keep it warm

1. Make it sound easy. The joke should say "happy to help", not "you owe me".
2. Keep it short. A thank you does not need a long reply.
3. Mean it. A plain "anytime" is often the nicest answer of all.

More from the Department

For the other side of the conversation, see the funny ways to say thank you. If you got something wrong first, there are funny ways to say sorry, and for a bigger moment, the funny ways to say congratulations. All guides are on the guides page, and today's ruling is on the home page.

See also: funny ways to say good job.

Questions about funny ways to say you're welcome

What is a funny way to say you're welcome?

Something short that makes the favour sound grander than it was, like "You are welcome. The Department of Doubt has approved your thanks and filed it under nice." Keep it warm; the point is that you were happy to help.

What is a funny way to say you're welcome in a text?

Short and playful works best: "You are welcome. Please leave a five-star review." Or "Anytime. Well, most times. Not before nine." Then a smile if it fits.

What is a funny way to say you're welcome at work?

Keep it friendly and modest: "Happy to help. I will add it to my list of good deeds, which is now two items long." Avoid anything that sounds like you want credit.

What is a simple way to say you're welcome?

A plain "You are welcome, happy to help" always works. "Anytime" and "My pleasure" are just as kind and a little warmer.

The Department of Doubt is satire, but these replies are real suggestions you are free to use. See the satire notice.