How to decline a request politely
Requests arrive every day: a favor, a letter, a talk, an introduction, a "quick" bit of help. You cannot say yes to all of them, and you should not have to feel bad about it. Here is a simple way to decline a request politely, and 8 sample emails you can adapt.
The four-part decline
- Thank them. Being asked usually means someone trusts you.
- Decline clearly, early in the message. "I'm not able to take this on." Do not hide the answer in the last line.
- Add one short reason, if it helps. Time, fit or focus are all fine.
- Offer something, if you can. A referral, a later date, or a smaller kind of help. If not, a good wish is enough.
Sample emails you can copy
A general request (short)
Thank you for thinking of me. I'm not able to help with this one, but I hope it goes well.
A professional request
Dear [Name], Thank you for your message. I've considered your request, and I'm not able to [request] at this time because of [short reason]. If it helps, [alternative or referral]. Kind regards, [Your name]
A letter of recommendation
Dear [Name], Thank you for asking me, I'm glad you thought of me. I don't think I know your work well enough to write the strong letter you deserve, so I'd rather say so now. [Name] has worked with you more closely and might be a better choice. I wish you the very best with your application. Best, [Your name]
A favor from a colleague
I'd like to help, but I'm fully booked this week. If it can wait until [day], I can take a look then. Otherwise [name] might be able to help sooner.
A request to speak or present
Thank you for the invitation to speak at [event]. I'm not able to take on any talks this season, but I'd be glad to be considered next year.
A request for free work
Thanks for thinking of me. I don't take on unpaid projects at the moment, but I'd be happy to send my rates if that would be useful.
A request to volunteer or join a committee
Thank you for asking. I can't commit the time this year, and I'd rather say no than do it halfway. I hope you find someone great.
A request for an introduction
I'd rather not make this introduction, as I don't know [person] well enough to ask for their time. I'm happy to share some other ideas for reaching them.
What to avoid
- Waiting. A late no wastes time the other person could use to ask someone else.
- "Maybe" when you mean no. It sounds kinder and works out worse.
- A long list of reasons. One is enough. Five sound like an argument.
- Saying yes and doing it badly. A half-hearted letter or rushed favor helps nobody.
Related guides
For invitations, see how to decline an invitation. For work, see how to say no to extra work and how to decline a meeting. For customers, see how to say no to a customer. All guides are on the guides page.
Questions about declining requests
How do you decline a request politely?
Thank the person, say clearly that you cannot help, give a short reason if you want, and offer an alternative or a good wish: "Thank you for thinking of me. I'm not able to take this on right now, but [name] may be able to help."
How do you decline a request professionally in an email?
Keep it short and specific: thank them, state the decision in the first two lines, give one reason, and close with an alternative or an offer for later. Avoid long apologies and vague "maybes".
How do I decline writing a letter of recommendation?
Be honest and kind, and decline early so they can ask someone else: "I don't think I know your work well enough to write the strong letter you deserve. [Name] may be a better choice." That protects them, not just you.
Do I have to explain why I am declining?
No. A short reason helps the other person understand, but "I'm not able to help with this one" is a complete, polite answer.
What if I want to help, just not now?
Say so with a concrete time: "I can't this month, but I could look at it in the first week of [month]. Would that still be useful?" That is a yes later, not a vague maybe.
The Department of Doubt is satire, but this page is a plain guide. See the satire notice and about the Department.