Bad date ideas

Is it a good idea for a date? The Department of Doubt has reviewed 16 date plans, all invented here, and stamped every one I DON'T THINK SO. Tap any idea to stamp it, then send it to the friend planning a big night.

Romance, misplaced

1. A candlelit evening doing your taxes. The receipts are not romantic, and neither are the forms.
2. A surprise date at your company's quarterly meeting. Item four on the agenda: who is this, and why are they here?
3. A romantic dinner in a car park, with the engine running. Romance does not usually smell of exhaust.
4. Reading the menu aloud to each other, then going home. You have learned their reading voice, and nothing else.

Nowhere to talk

1. A first date at the cinema, then a second film right after. Four hours together and not one word spoken.
2. Dinner next to the drum kit at a loud bar. You will learn they like their drinks loud.
3. A silent retreat, booked for the whole weekend. A whole weekend of not finding out anything about each other.
4. A first date at a library, whispering only. Hard to get to know someone at a whisper.

Too much, too soon

1. Meeting all 14 cousins on the first date. Fourteen cousins means fourteen opinions by Monday.
2. A first date that is also a house move. Boxes are heavy. Second dates are not guaranteed.
3. A five-course tasting menu that runs until 2 am. Lovely food, and by course four both of you want to go home.
4. A matching tattoo, on date one. Permanent ink for a plan that is one evening old.

Outdoor optimism

1. A picnic in the rain, without a plan B. Rain was always the plan B. It just did not ask.
2. A sunrise hike, starting at 3 am. Nobody is charming at 3 a.m. with a head torch.
3. Mini golf in a heatwave. Hot clubs, hot faces, nobody is having fun on hole nine.
4. A boat trip with someone who gets seasick. Romance and the sea do not mix for everyone.

What makes a date idea work

1. You can hear each other. Not the film, not the drummer.
2. There is a way out. A clear end time helps everyone.
3. There is a plan B. For rain, closures and sunburn.
4. Nobody is doing chores. Taxes are not a mood.

Related

More plans the Department rejected: bad vacation ideas, worst party themes and bad birthday ideas. If the answer is no, see how to reject someone nicely. Try your own with Stamp Anything. All guides are on the guides page.

Questions about bad date ideas

What are bad date ideas?

Plans where nobody can talk, nobody is comfortable, or one person is doing chores: a first date at the cinema in total silence, a candlelit evening doing your taxes, or a hike nobody trained for.

What makes a good first date?

Somewhere you can hear each other, a clear end time, a small shared activity and a backup plan if it rains. Low cost and low pressure beat grand gestures.

Are these real dates?

No. Every date on this page is invented by the Department of Doubt. No real people are involved, and any resemblance is a coincidence.

Part of Bad ideas, officially reviewed.

The Department of Doubt is satire. Every date on this page is invented; no real people are named. See the satire notice.