Funny ways to say hurry up

"Hurry up" can sound like a complaint. A small joke turns it into a nudge. Here are 15 funny ways to say hurry up, for someone getting ready, for friends and texts, a few mock-official ones from the Department of Doubt, and simple kind ones that always work.

For someone getting ready

• "No rush. Well, a little rush. A medium rush, please." Precise, and polite.
• "The shoes are by the door. The door is waiting. The door is very patient, but still." Blame the door.
• "We are leaving in five minutes. These are real minutes, not the stretchy kind." Gentle, and clear.
• "Take your time. Just take it a bit faster." A small contradiction that works.

For friends and texts

• "Are you nearly here? The snacks are getting nervous." The snacks have feelings.
• "Hurry up, the story is not the same without you." Impatient, but kind.
• "I have saved you a seat. The seat is asking questions." A very curious seat.
• "On your way? Asking for me, and also for the queue." Everyone is waiting.

Mock official

• "The Department of Doubt doubts you will be ready on time. Please prove it wrong." A challenge, kindly.
• "Notice: departure has been scheduled. Your presence is warmly requested." Sounds like a form. Reads like a nudge.
• "Your getting-ready time has been reviewed and gently extended. Once." Generous, but firm.

Simple and kind

• "Could we speed up a little? We need to leave at six." Always works.
• "Just a gentle nudge: we are leaving soon." Short and friendly.
• "Whenever you are ready, as long as that is soon." Kind, with a deadline.
• "No pressure, but we are running a little late." Honest and calm.

Keep it kind

1. Blame the clock, not the person. The door, the snacks and the queue can take it.
2. Give a real time. "We leave at six" helps more than any joke.
3. Never rush anyone on the road. Arriving late beats arriving in a hurry.

More from the Department

If they still arrive late, they will need the funny excuses for being late. If you are the one who cannot hurry, there are funny ways to say I'm busy, and once everyone is finally out the door, the funny ways to say see you soon. All guides are on the guides page, and today's ruling is on the home page.

Questions about funny ways to say hurry up

What is a funny way to say hurry up?

Something light that nudges without nagging, like "No rush. Well, a little rush. A medium rush, please." The joke should make them smile and move, not feel told off.

What is a funny way to tell someone to hurry up getting ready?

Make it about the clock, not the person: "The shoes are by the door, the door is by the car, and the clock is by no means waiting." Then say what time you actually need to leave.

What is a polite way to say hurry up at work?

Keep it friendly and clear: "Just a gentle nudge on this one; we need it by three." A real time beats any joke in a work chat.

What is a simple way to say hurry up?

A plain "Could we speed up a little? We need to leave at six" always works. Giving the reason and the time makes it a request, not a complaint.

The Department of Doubt is satire, but these nudges are real suggestions you are free to use. See the satire notice.