Funny ways to say it's hot outside

Some days are too hot for a plain "phew". Here are 15 funny ways to say it's hot outside, for texts and friends, a few dramatic declarations, mock-official ones from the Department of Doubt, and simple kind ones that always work.

For texts and friends

• "It is so hot outside that my shadow has gone to find some shade." Sensible shadow.
• "I stepped outside and the air gave me a warm, unwanted hug." Far too much hug.
• "My ice lolly lasted four seconds. They were a brave four seconds." Gone, but not forgotten.
• "I am not hot. I am glowing, enthusiastically." A very keen glow.

Dramatic declarations

• "The pavement is so hot I am walking on tiptoe and calling it a dance." A summer routine.
• "The steering wheel now needs oven gloves." Driving, but make it baking.
• "I opened the window for fresh air and it sent back warm air instead." Wrong order delivered.
• "The sun is doing a lot today. Nobody asked for this much." Very keen, the sun.

Mock official

• "The Department of Doubt has reviewed the idea of a woolly jumper today and does not think so." The jumper may return in autumn.
• "Notice: the outdoors is currently set to grill. Please adjust accordingly." Sounds like a form. Reads like a sizzle.
• "Form 131 confirms that the applicant is hot, has found some shade, and would like more shade." Shade request pending.

Simple and kind

• "It's so hot today, stay cool!" Always works.
• "Phew, it's a scorcher out there." Short and sunny.
• "It's really warm, find some shade." Practical and kind.
• "Hope you're keeping cool." Warm, for anyone.

Keep it light

1. Add a cool wish. "Stay cool" turns a weather moan into a kind message.
2. Read the room. Friends somewhere colder may be quietly jealous, so keep the drama short.
3. One sizzle is enough. A single sunny line is funny; a daily heat report gets old fast.

More from the Department

For the other end of the thermometer, see the funny ways to say it's freezing, and for a sunny start to the weekend, the funny ways to say happy Saturday. Planning a big day out in the sun? Check the bad ideas for the weekend first. All guides are on the guides page, and today's ruling is on the home page.

Questions about funny ways to say it's hot outside

What is a funny way to say it's hot outside?

Something that makes the heat sound a little too dramatic, like "It is so hot outside that my shadow has gone to find some shade." One sunny line is plenty.

What is a funny way to say it's really hot today?

Try "Notice: the outdoors is currently set to grill. Please adjust accordingly." It is playful and sounds like an official warning.

What can I say instead of it's hot?

Try "It's a scorcher today" or "It's really warm out there." Both are friendly and fit any chat.

What is a simple way to say it's hot outside?

A plain "It's so hot today, stay cool!" always works. It shares the news and adds a kind wish.

The Department of Doubt is satire, but these hot weather texts are real suggestions you are free to use. See the satire notice.