Funny ways to say it's freezing

Some days are too cold for a plain "brr". Here are 15 funny ways to say it's freezing, for texts and friends, a few dramatic declarations, mock-official ones from the Department of Doubt, and simple kind ones that always work.

For texts and friends

• "It is so cold outside my socks have asked for socks." Layering, but recursive.
• "I went outside for one minute. I am now mostly hat." Mostly hat is a valid look.
• "I am wearing two jumpers and a scarf indoors. I would like this noted." Noted, with sympathy.
• "My breath is making little clouds, and none of them are going anywhere." Weather, but personal.

Dramatic declarations

• "It is not cold. It is a brand new temperature that nobody has named yet." Name pending.
• "Even the wind has gone indoors." Wise wind.
• "I held a warm mug for an hour. Now the mug is cold too. Nobody won." A draw, at best.
• "The car windscreen has frozen into a pattern that looks a lot like disapproval." It has a point.

Mock official

• "The Department of Doubt has reviewed the idea of going outside today and does not think so." The ruling stands until it warms up.
• "Notice: today's outdoor temperature has been officially rated "no, thank you"." Sounds like a form. Reads like a shiver.
• "Form 129 confirms that the applicant is cold, has checked twice, and is still cold." Checked a third time. Still cold.

Simple and kind

• "It's freezing out there, wrap up warm!" Always works.
• "Brr, it's so cold today." Short and frosty.
• "It's chilly, bring an extra layer." Practical and kind.
• "Stay warm out there." Warm, for anyone.

Keep it light

1. Add a warm wish. "Stay warm" turns a weather moan into a kind message.
2. Read the room. Friends somewhere warmer may not feel your pain, so keep the drama short.
3. One shiver is enough. A single frosty line is funny; a daily cold report gets old fast.

More from the Department

For a frosty start to the day, see the funny ways to say good morning, and if the cold keeps everyone indoors, the funny ways to say I'm bored. Planning to brave it anyway? Check the bad ideas for the weekend first. All guides are on the guides page, and today's ruling is on the home page.

See also: funny ways to say it's hot outside.

See also: funny ways to say it's raining.

See also: funny ways to say it's snowing.

Questions about funny ways to say it's freezing

What is a funny way to say it's freezing?

Something that makes the cold sound a little too dramatic, like "It is so cold outside my socks have asked for socks." One frosty line is plenty.

What is a funny way to say it's cold outside?

Try "I went outside for one minute. I am now mostly hat." It is playful and paints the picture in one go.

What can I say instead of it's freezing?

Try "It's really chilly today" or "It's properly cold out there." Both are friendly and fit any chat.

What is a simple way to say it's freezing?

A plain "It's freezing out there, wrap up warm!" always works. It shares the news and adds a kind wish.

The Department of Doubt is satire, but these cold weather texts are real suggestions you are free to use. See the satire notice.