Terrible restaurant ideas

Is it a good idea for a restaurant? The Department of Doubt has inspected 17 restaurant concepts, all invented here, and stamped every one I DON'T THINK SO. Tap any idea to stamp it, then send it to the friend who keeps saying they will open a cafe.

Concepts nobody ordered

1. A soup-only drive-through. Soup and a steering wheel have never met in a good way.
2. A buffet with exactly one dish. Choice is the main reason people go out to eat.
3. A breakfast place that opens at 4 pm. Breakfast at teatime is just a late, confused lunch.
4. A cereal bar with no milk. Half the dish is missing, and it is the wet half.
5. A salad restaurant where you grow it first. Lunch takes four months and the weather has opinions.

Menus that try too hard

1. A 400-page menu, no index. By page 200 everyone has forgotten they were hungry.
2. Every dish served on a roof tile. The peas will escape. Peas always escape a roof tile.
3. Deconstructed toast: bread, heat, a note. Charging full price for the idea of toast.
4. A tasting menu of different waters. Every course tastes of water, which is the point and the problem.

Service with doubts

1. A cafe that opens when the owner feels like it. Customers need opening hours, not moods.
2. A waiter who reads your order back as a question. "A burger?" does not fill anyone with confidence.
3. Reservations only, booked by fax. The reservation arrives after the restaurant has closed.
4. A table that rotates, slightly too fast. Dinner and a mild sense of seasickness.

Locations, bold

1. A rooftop restaurant with no lift, on the 30th floor. Thirty floors of stairs is a workout, not an appetiser.
2. An ice cream shop at the North Pole. Wonderful location. No customers, two penguins.
3. A diner inside a car wash. The rinse cycle arrives with the soup.
4. A quiet restaurant next to the airport runway. Conversation is replaced by the departure schedule.

What makes a restaurant idea work

1. People want it often. Soup in a drive-through fails the cup-holder test.
2. The menu is short. Fewer dishes, cooked well.
3. The location fits. Go where the hungry people already are.
4. It opens when it says it does. Feelings are not opening hours.

Related

More businesses the Department rejected: bad business ideas, terrible product ideas and terrible app ideas. Try your own with Stamp Anything. All guides are on the guides page.

Questions about terrible restaurant ideas

What are terrible restaurant ideas?

Concepts that fight the customer: a soup-only drive-through, a buffet with one dish, a cafe that only opens when the owner feels like it, or a menu with 400 pages.

What makes a restaurant idea good?

Food people want often, a menu short enough to cook well, a location where those people already are, and a price that covers rent. A clear one-line concept helps too.

Are these real restaurants?

No. Every restaurant on this page is invented by the Department of Doubt. No real restaurants, chains or brands are named, and any resemblance is a coincidence.

Part of Bad ideas, officially reviewed.

The Department of Doubt is satire. Every restaurant on this page is invented; no real restaurants, chains or brands are named. See the satire notice.