Bad business ideas

Every great business started as an idea. So did these. The Department of Doubt has reviewed 22 business ideas, all invented here, and the ruling on each one is I DON'T THINK SO. Tap any business to stamp it yourself.

Shops and cafés

1. A café that only serves ice.
2. A bookshop where every book is the same book.
3. A bakery open from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m. only.
4. A shop that sells left shoes, with right shoes coming soon.
5. A restaurant with a one-year waiting list and one table.
6. An umbrella shop that closes when it rains.

Services nobody needs

1. A delivery service that brings things back to the shop.
2. A personal queuing service for queues you are not in.
3. Professional reminder calls to tell you that you have no plans.
4. A tour guide for your own house.
5. A taxi that only drives in circles around the block.
6. A wake-up service that calls you after your alarm.

Clever on paper

1. A gym with no equipment, just a mirror and a schedule.
2. A library where you can look at books but not open them.
3. A dog-walking service for cats.
4. A car wash for bicycles, at car prices.
5. A cinema that shows only the trailers.
6. A hotel with very comfortable chairs and no beds.

Bold online businesses

1. A website that tells you whether it is a weekday.
2. A video course on how to close a video.
3. Personalised newsletters about nothing.
4. A marketplace for second-hand sticky notes.

How the Department reviews a business plan

1. Who would use it? "Everyone" is not an answer.
2. What do they do today instead? If it is free and works, doubt.
3. Does it make something simple more complicated? Stamp.
4. Would you use it yourself, every week? Be honest. The Department is.

Related

More inventions the Department rejected: terrible product ideas, terrible app ideas and funny bad ideas. Pitch your own with Stamp Anything. For food, see terrible restaurant ideas. All guides are on the guides page.

Questions about bad business ideas

What is a funny bad business idea?

A business that solves a problem nobody has, or creates one: a café that only serves ice, a gym with no equipment, a delivery service that brings things back. Funny because someone, somewhere, is about to pitch it.

Are these real businesses?

No. Every business on this page is invented by the Department of Doubt for fun. None of it is business or money advice.

How can you tell if a business idea is bad?

A quick gut check: who would pay for it, how often, and what do they do instead today? If the answers are "nobody", "never" and "something free that works fine", the Department would stamp it.

Part of Bad ideas, officially reviewed.

The Department of Doubt is satire. Every business on this page is invented; no real companies are named, and nothing here is business or money advice. See the satire notice.