Worst house rules for games

Is it a good house rule for game night? The Department of Doubt has reviewed 18 of them, all invented here and none tied to a particular game, and stamped every one I DON'T THINK SO. Tap any rule to stamp it before the next family game night.

Card games

1. Every card can be stacked on every other card. The game never ends. Someone has to go to work in the morning.
2. Draw until you find the card you want, however long it takes. The deck is now one long draw and a lot of sighing.
3. Whoever shuffles also decides who goes first, every time. Whoever shuffles wins, which everyone notices by round two.
4. Saying "last card" is optional, and so is telling the truth. Nobody says it, and the argument lasts longer than the game.

Board games

1. The banker is also a player, and also the referee. A conflict of interest with a stack of paper money.
2. All fines go to the middle, and anyone can win the middle. The middle grows until the game is about the middle.
3. Nobody may buy anything until everyone has gone round twice. Two rounds of walking in circles with nothing to buy.
4. The game ends when everyone gives up, not before. Some games last until the house is sold. This rule helps.
5. Landing on a square twice means you own it, ask no questions. Free property, and a lot of very loud questions.

Game night

1. The rules are whatever the oldest player says. The oldest player changes their mind every turn.
2. Rules can be changed by a vote, during anyone's turn. Voting during a turn means every turn becomes an election.
3. The winner must host next time and buy the snacks. Winning should feel good, not like a shopping trip.
4. Phones on the table, face up, for evidence. Board games run on trust, not on screenshots.
5. Nobody reads the instructions. It is more fun to guess. The guessing ends when someone finally reads the box.

Bold rules

1. Every game is played in teams of one. Teams of one is just playing alone, together.
2. Points are given for style. Style is subjective. So is everyone's score.
3. The dog counts as a player. The dog will win and nobody can argue with the dog.
4. Losing on purpose is a valid strategy. Losing on purpose is how the game lasts until breakfast.

How to agree on house rules

1. Before the first turn. Not after someone is winning.
2. Out loud, to everyone. Then write the odd ones down.
3. For the whole game. No changes halfway.
4. When in doubt, read the box. The Department rarely says this.

Related

More things the Department rejected: funny house rules, worst party themes and bad Christmas ideas. All guides are on the guides page.

Questions about game house rules

What are the worst house rules for games?

Rules that make a game last forever, reward whoever argues loudest, or change halfway through: "every card can be stacked", "the banker can also play", or "the rules are whatever the oldest player says".

How do you agree on house rules for a game night?

Say them out loud before the first turn, write any odd ones down, and keep them for the whole game. If a rule needs a vote halfway through, it was not a rule.

Are these real house rules?

They are invented by the Department of Doubt and describe no particular game. If your family already plays one of them, the Department understands.

Part of Bad ideas, officially reviewed.

The Department of Doubt is satire. Every rule on this page is invented; no games or brands are named. See the satire notice.