Bad bucket list ideas
A bucket list is a list of things you promise to do one day. Some of them are wonderful. Some of them are this. Here are 15 bad bucket list ideas, all harmless, every one reviewed by the Department of Doubt and stamped I DON'T THINK SO. Tap any idea to stamp it yourself.
Ambitious, technically
- Read every terms and conditions page I have ever agreed to. There are not enough years. Also, nobody has ever done this.
- Finish a jigsaw puzzle of a plain white wall. It would take a decade and look exactly like the wall.
- Answer every unread email in my inbox, in order. Most of them are newsletters you never signed up for.
- Watch every episode of a soap opera that has run for fifty years. You would finish just in time for the next fifty.
- Count all the grains of sand on one small beach. The tide disagrees with your method.
Small, but proud of it
- Finally use the good plates. Approved in spirit. The Department is still doubtful you will.
- Fold a fitted sheet perfectly, once. Nobody has done this. Reports suggest it cannot be done.
- Find the end of the sticky tape on the first try. Ambitious. The tape does not want to be found.
- Leave the house without going back for something. You will go back for your keys. Everyone does.
- Remember why I walked into a room. A noble goal. You have already forgotten it.
Bold, confident and wrong
- Win an argument with a cat. The cat does not argue. It simply leaves, and wins.
- Become the person who says the thing at the meeting. The meeting will run long. The thing will not be said.
- Teach a goose to say thank you. Geese do not say thank you. They chase.
- Make a sandwich so good that people write about it. Ambitious. Mostly ends with crumbs on the sofa.
- Get a pigeon to respect me. Pigeons respect no one. It is part of their charm.
What makes a good bucket list item
- You actually want it. Not because it sounds impressive. Because you would enjoy it.
- It is specific. "Bake a loaf of bread" gets done. "Get into baking" does not.
- It is safe and kind. Nothing that needs luck, danger or someone else's embarrassment.
The Department has no objection to good bucket lists. It simply has never seen one.
More officially reviewed bad ideas
For more, see bad New Year's resolutions, bad vacation ideas, terrible life hacks and funny bad ideas. Not sure what "bad idea" really means? There is a guide to that too. All guides are on the guides page, and today's ruling is on the home page.
Questions about bad bucket list ideas
What is a bad bucket list idea?
One that sounds exciting written down and turns out to be pointless, annoying or impossible to finish, like "read every terms and conditions page I have ever agreed to". The funny ones are harmless; the bad ones in real life are the risky ones.
Are these meant to be done?
No. They are jokes, reviewed and rejected by the Department of Doubt. Nothing on this page is a dare. Please keep your real bucket list safe, legal and kind.
What makes a good bucket list item?
Something you actually want, that you can plan, and that does not depend on luck or danger. "Learn to bake bread" beats "become famous". Small, specific items get done.
Why does the Department of Doubt reject every idea?
Because it reviews one claim a day and doubts it. A bucket list is just a list of claims about future you, which makes it very easy to doubt.
Part of Bad ideas, officially reviewed.
The Department of Doubt is satire. Every idea on this page is invented and meant as a joke, not a dare. See the satire notice.