Bad Thanksgiving dinner ideas
Thanksgiving dinner is one meal, one oven and a lot of plans. Some of those plans are this. Here are 15 bad Thanksgiving dinner ideas, all harmless, every one reviewed by the Department of Doubt and stamped I DON'T THINK SO. Tap any idea to stamp it yourself.
In the kitchen
- Cook every dish at the same time in one oven. The oven has one shelf of patience, and it is full.
- Try a brand-new recipe for the first time on the day. Thanksgiving is not a rehearsal. Practise on a Tuesday.
- Make the gravy from memory, without tasting it. Memory is not a spoon.
- Start the turkey at the time everyone is meant to be eating. Dinner is now a breakfast.
- Peel forty potatoes for six people, just in case. You will be eating mash until December.
At the table
- Seat everyone in alphabetical order by middle name. Nobody knows anyone's middle name. Chaos.
- Ask each guest to give a ten-minute speech of thanks. The food will be cold by guest two.
- Use the good tablecloth, and the gravy boat with the crack. One of these will win, and it will not be the tablecloth.
- Write every place card as a riddle. Dinner starts once the last riddle is solved. It is midnight.
- Serve dessert first, to save time. Bold. Nobody will touch the sprouts after pie.
Bold, confident and wrong
- A turkey shaped entirely from mashed potato. Impressive. Not a turkey.
- Replace all the side dishes with one very large salad. Rejected by everyone, especially the salad.
- Invite the whole street and tell them to bring nothing. You will need forty potatoes after all.
- Leave the dog in charge of the turkey while you set the table. The dog has volunteered. The dog has a plan.
- Leave all the washing up until next Thanksgiving. The kitchen has opinions about that.
What makes Thanksgiving dinner go well
- Plan around the oven. Write down what goes in when. The oven cannot do everything at once.
- Let guests bring something. A side dish each takes half the work away.
- Pick a realistic time. Then add an hour. Everyone will be happier.
More officially reviewed bad ideas
For the next big meal, see bad Christmas ideas. For hosting in general, there are worst party themes and, for the end of the night, funny excuses to leave a party. If you are giving the toast, read the worst ways to start a speech first. All guides are on the guides page, and today's ruling is on the home page.
Questions about bad Thanksgiving dinner ideas
What is a bad Thanksgiving dinner idea?
One that sounds impressive on Monday and becomes a problem by Thursday afternoon, like "cook every dish at the same time in one oven". The funny ones are harmless; the truly bad ones leave someone hungry or doing all the washing up alone.
Are these meant to be tried?
No. They are jokes, reviewed and rejected by the Department of Doubt. The turkey has enough to worry about.
What makes a Thanksgiving dinner go well?
A plan that fits your oven, dishes guests can bring, and a time for eating that you can actually hit. Simple food served warm beats ambitious food served at nine o'clock.
What is a good thing to say at Thanksgiving dinner?
Something kind and simple: a thank you to the cook, or one thing you are grateful for this year. Short is good. Everyone is looking at the food.
Part of Bad ideas, officially reviewed.
The Department of Doubt is satire. Every idea on this page is invented and meant as a joke, not a menu. See the satire notice.