Funny ways to say "no gifts please"

"No gifts please" is one of the nicest noes there is. It saves your guests money, time and a panicked trip to the shops. Here are 14 funny ways to say it on a birthday or party invitation, sorted by occasion, each with a note on how it lands.

Funny, for adult birthdays

• "No gifts please. Your presence is the present." Classic. Works for everyone.
• "No gifts please. We have reached peak mug." Relatable, and gently true.
• "No gifts, please. I am trying to own fewer things and failing." Self-mocking, so nobody feels judged.
• "Gifts are not required. Showing up on time is a gift we rarely receive." A light dig at everyone, including the host.
• "No presents please. At my age, the cake is the present." Warm. Makes the cake sound important.

Mock official

• "Notice: gifts have been reviewed and are not required." Department-approved wording.
• "Gift policy: none. Snack policy: generous." Clear, and quietly tells guests to come hungry.
• "Please bring nothing but yourselves and a good story." Friendly. Starts conversations.
• "No gifts. If you must bring something, bring an appetite." Covers the people who cannot arrive empty-handed.
• "No gifts please. Hugs are accepted, within reason." Sweet, with a small boundary.

For kids' parties

• "No gifts please. We already own every toy that makes a noise." Parents will understand immediately.
• "No presents, just party hats and big smiles." Cheerful and simple.
• "Instead of a gift, bring a book to swap. Everyone goes home with one." A small alternative that still feels like a present.
• "Gifts are optional. Silly dancing is compulsory." Puts the focus on the fun.

The plain polite version

If you want it simple, one line near the end of the invitation is enough:

• "No gifts, please. Your company is all we want."
• "Please, no gifts. Just bring yourselves."
• "We kindly ask for no gifts."

Put the plain line first and a joke after it if you like. The plain line makes sure everyone understands; the joke shows you mean it warmly.

Three small rules

1. Say it once. One line on the invitation. Repeating it starts to sound like a test.
2. Keep the joke about you. "We have too many mugs" is fine. Anything that hints guests give bad presents is not.
3. Accept gifts that arrive anyway. A warm thank-you, no reminder. Some people simply cannot arrive empty-handed.

More ways to say no nicely

For other kind noes, see polite ways to say no and how to say no without feeling guilty. If gifts do arrive, there are funny ways to say thank you. Planning the party? The Department has reviewed some bad birthday ideas and terrible gift ideas so you do not have to. All guides are on the guides page.

See also: worst ways to say happy birthday.

Questions about "no gifts please"

How do you say "no gifts please" in a funny way?

Add a joke after the clear message, like "No gifts please. Your presence is the present, and frankly we have enough mugs." The clear part comes first so nobody misses it.

Is it rude to put "no gifts" on an invitation?

No. It is a kind thing to do, because it saves guests money and worry. Keep it short and friendly, and do not mention gifts again in the rest of the invitation.

How do you say no gifts for a birthday party?

Put one line near the end of the invitation: "No gifts, please. Just bring yourselves." For a child's party, many parents add a small alternative, such as a card or a book swap.

What if a guest brings a gift anyway?

Say thank you, put it aside, and open it later. Some people always bring something. A warm thank-you is the right reply, not a reminder about the invitation.

Part of How to say no.

The Department of Doubt is satire, but these lines are real suggestions you are free to use. See the satire notice.